The Scent of Jasmine by Delinsky Barbara

Author:Delinsky, Barbara [Delinsky, Barbara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Published: 2012-05-29T00:00:00+00:00

7

“DON’T SAY THAT,” she cried, pushing herself to a sitting position with the urgency of pure emotion. When John’s eyes went wide, she lowered her voice. “Don’t say that.”

“Why not? I mean it.”

“No.” Closing her eyes, she shook her head. “You don’t mean it. Please.”

A tiny voice inside told him he should have seen it coming. The signs were all there in her past, topped off by the fact that, until this day, she’d never let any man touch her deepest heart. What had she said …? That she’d never had the urge before. There was a remote possibility that she did, indeed, see the act as something totally physical. More probably, he realized, she would refuse to recognize the deeper feelings that had permitted his penetration of her body, if not her soul.

“Would it be so awful?” he ventured softly.

His voice washed over her like a warm, soothing wave and she had to steel herself against its lure. Turning her back, she huddled into herself. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You’ve got to, because it exists. Would it be so awful … my loving you?”

“Love ruins things. It hurts. It doesn’t last.”

“You’re speaking of your parents, and that’s not necessarily—”

“I’m speaking of so many of the people I’ve met over the years, people who thought they were in love and then discovered differently.”

“I’m not asking for a commitment, Pepper. I simply wanted you to know how I felt. I’ve known it for a long time. I should have said it before.”

“You should have.”

“And you never would have let today happen?”

“I never would have let a lot of todays happen. I can’t love you back. Don’t you see?”

“Can’t? Or won’t?”

“Does it matter?”

“To me it does. Can’t is something irrevocable. Won’t means I’ve still got a chance.”

“You haven’t got a chance.”

He was sitting up behind her, his voice low and firm. “I don’t believe that.”

“It’s a fact.”

“Not quite.” When he put his hand on her shoulder, she pulled away. But he simply lunged forward and had her flat on her back with her hands pinned to the sheets before she could flee. “I’m not letting you go,” he stated calmly. “You may have scared all the other guys away with that speech—”

“I’ve never used it on another guy.”

“Which goes a long way in making my point. You’ve never let another man touch you, but you let me. Don’t you think that says something about your emotional involvement?”

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying desperately to block out his words. She didn’t want to hear them, didn’t want to think about them.

“Hell, Pepper, I’d say you’re up to your pretty little ears this time. You can go home to your lonely bed, but you won’t be able to forget what happened here.”

“I’ll find diversions.”

“With another man? Who are you trying to kid? I always sensed there was something innocent about you. And I refuse to believe it’s because guys haven’t tried to break through. I made it. Me. There’s a reason … .

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